I’ve struggled to find the words when attempting to write about our wedding day. It just felt so big, like so much and I hadn’t been able to find the right words just yet, and I most certainly didn’t want to ruin it, so I waited. Today, I am writing from bed, with a giant cup of coffee and a feeling that today is the day. I am just going to write. At the conclusion of this post, I hope you understand that it, as cliché as it is to say, was the best day of my life. I’ve never felt so loved or beautiful. I married my handsome, goofy, hard-working, crazy-smart, Christ centered man. We said our vows under a tin roof on a beautiful, warm Sunday evening and danced the night away with our beloved friends and family. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
It is my hope that these words do this day justice, a difficult feat, but here I go:
Waking up on September 1st felt strangely like a very regular day. I slept well through the night, but come 6 AM my mind was officially a flutter and sleep was no longer a possibility. I made sure to make some unnecessary movements while getting out of bed, secretly hoping I would wake Jess (my maid of honor), but my efforts lead to no avail. I quietly got dressed and suddenly felt overwhelming grateful for the alone time. It was a beautiful sunny day, not a cloud in the sky. A huge relief as they had been calling for thunderstorms ALL week. I left our cottage and went for a walk. I headed straight for our ceremony space, my bridesmaids and I had stayed at a little cottage the previous night that was quite literally a stones through from where Ben and I became husband and wife later that day. I stood there, feeling disbelief more than anything, that today was the day we had been waiting for. I prayed for deep memories, I didn’t want to forgot a single thing that was about to happen. So much had lead up to this point, four years of dating, a year and a half of planning, and it was all about to unfold. Surreal.
I had the time of my life getting ready with my very best friends. We drank mimosas’ while we had our hair and make-up done. Ben and his best guys were at his cousins farm, shooting skeet and laughing the day away. The morning and early afternoon seemed to drag, not in a bad way, in someways I never wanted it to end. But, every time I would check the time, only minutes had passed. At 3 PM sharp, I was to meet Ben atop a small hill just a few hundred meters away. He would be turned the other way while I approached, only allowed to turn when I touched his shoulder. I couldn’t wait to see him, to show him my dress, to share in our excitement that after 4 years of knowing that we were the ‘ones’ for each other, we would get to make it official. No one quite understood that like he did. When it was my turn to get dolled up, the time started flying by (and really hasn’t stopped since). Suddenly, I was in my wedding dress, and for real this time (not like all the other times I would causally wear it around our apartment sipping coffee and answering work emails). My bouquet was in hand and the videographers were telling me it was go time, ‘go get your man’. I walked up the gravel driveway, the sun was so warm on my back, and literally heaved the whole way. I had envisioned doing a ‘beautiful’ cry, because lets face it, the whole world knew there was no way I wouldn’t be crying at this point. But, no such luck. I had one dear friend tell me it almost looked like I was having an asthma attack. A very happy, emotional asthma attack. I have never felt so much in my entire life, it was so glorious I wish I could of bottled it up and take a sip whenever I want to reminisce. At this point, he was literally just feet away, and I stopped, just for a second and breathed it all in. I tapped his shoulder, and he was as cool as a cucumber, as I knew he would be. He truly is everything I am not.
Frankly, the rest of the day went by impossibly fast. We had our brief moments of alone time, met up with our wedding party, took pictures, the ladies touched up their lip gloss and then it was ‘getting married’ time. My dad came into the cottage, and I will never, ever forget the look on his face. As he said in his speech, ‘it was pure joy and breaking my heart all at the same time’. I genuinely thought we would keep it together as we walked down the isle, but just as we entered the covered ceremony space, the weight of it all hit my father and he started to cry. When your dad cries, you cry (obviously), so again my solid plans of keeping it together had failed. I very clearly remember looking around and seeing all our family and friends, this was one particular moment I’d always dreamed about. Even before I knew who my groom would be, I imagined walking down the isle supported by the people I loved and respected the most. That moment blew my expectations out of the water. And there we were, at the end of the isle. I kissed my father on the cheek, he shook Ben’s hand and told the congregation that he willingly gave his daughter to be married. We had the honor of having Ben’s Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Brian marry us, but those first few minutes I didn’t retain a single word they said. I was drunk in love and simply staring at Benjamin, my heart was beating entirely too fast. He took my hands, said the most beautiful vows I had ever heard (I realize, I am entirely biased), and promised his ‘forever’ to me (to me!!!). I said my own vows, grateful that my words flowed together and were mostly audible over my silent sobs. Brian said the words we had been waiting to hear since were teenagers, during our days of bad fashion choices and big dreams, ‘you may kiss your bride’.
And that was it, we were married. I would forever more be his wife, and he would be my husband. For years, we talked about building businesses together, buying homes and having babies. For so long it felt like dreaming, but in that moment, really instantaneously, they no longer felt like dreams but our destiny. God had created this man to be my ultimate supporter, protector and confidant.Truly, the rest of the night was a celebration of that. We drank wine, ate a glorious meal, and quite frankly, danced the night away. It was over before I was ready for it be over, but every detail was absolute perfection (for Ben and I anyways). Even the parts that didn’t turn out as planned (the rings being misplaced, the wasps nest that hung precariously over our ceremony space) were perfect.
Without further ado, I want to share our pictures and video from our very best day. Driftwood did a PHENOMENAL job, when we watch our video it makes me feel ‘everything’ all over again and I can’t help but flip through our pictures with a smile. Enjoy, dear friends.